Monday, August 28, 2006

Must Stop Doing This to Myself

Aaargh! Just read Smitha's blog (hey Smitha!) and about how all the westies went for karaoke in Mikamo and had a great night and blah blah blah... definite lurch of the stomach and stinging of the eyes. I really should not keep such a close track of life back in Tokkers, as it will only make life that much harder for me out here. But you know, with nothing on my hands but time at the moment... it's hard to let go.

I had kind of a downer today anyway, so I'll bet that when I am up, I won't feel as inclined to go clicking round blogs of yore. They're all just such good writers, though, and more often than not, it's really good to read what people are up to.

I saw Jane today, which was good. She has a new job lined up, starting next week. Imagine, our wee Jane finally a lawyer! Good for her.

I also saw Pernilla! Oh my oh my, it was SO good to see Perny again! She's sort of as down as me, having just graduated from Glasgow School of Art in Embroidery, but not finding the scene in Glasgow to be really buzzing just now. She's heading back to Malmo next month for a break and to gather her thoughts. She looks great though, in the quirky, unique way that only Pernilla can look great.

Sex and the City day turned out to be a so-so affair. It was good to get out and meet new people, but you know, all these people have families, are in their 30s and live in places like Curry and West Calder, so it's not as if I really networked. And some, who shall remain nameless, are total snobs, even worse than the pseudo-snobbery I put on to piss my friends off. True snobs, and they weren't brought up like that.

I heard from Vivi today too, and that was great! I miss Vivi and her ray of sunshine smile. Man, I am planning a MASSIVE trip around NA, I can tell you. I tried to link to Vivi's new website, but I think my blogger template is really screwed, so intead I'll list it here for now.

Back on the job hunt tomorrow. I wish I could give myself more time to get used to this country again, but I really need an income, and idleness does not become me.


Anonymous said...

Hang in there! It's definitely different being back and I still have overwhelming waves of natsukashii for Tokkers every once in awhile, but keeping busy will help you settle in a bit more, I think. I need to get over to the UK to do a big tour and see you! Wonder when I can manage that...?


Smitha said...

Aww, crap--sorry, Ellie! I can understand wanting to lay off the blogs for a's easy to imagine that things just kind of grind to a halt. I feel that way about home all the time and it's always weird to hear that friends are getting together and having fun without me, and moving on and making big changes in their lives without my being there to watch or help or whatever.

Though if it makes you feel any better, we did sing Total Eclipse of the Heart, so that's something I KNOW you were eager to leave behind. ;o)

Ellie said...

Yeah, that's true, the song never did anything for me at all!

No, I don't imagine things grinding to a halt, but I just wish I was there to see it all happening. What hurts isn't reading about all the cool stuff going on without me, it's not experiencing it for myself. Maybe that's splitting hairs, but life goes on, I don't expect it to stop for me.

Feeling a bit better now, though there is a stubborn little part of me that doesn't WANT to feel better! :)

jordan said...

There's always a spot open for you at the poker tables, Ellie...

I understand the "not wanting to feel better" bit you mention. It's like the idea of getting yourself on your feet again means leaving part of you behind, a part you don't want to let go of.

Rona, an old Tokkers JET said...

there is a job going at the Japanese Consulate in Edinburgh! Political and Economics Researcher.If you fancy gassing about Tokushima please feel free to get in touch. I know how hard the homecoming is. I may not know your Tokushima gang but at least I would know where you are talking about!